The 1572 Intelligence Tracker

Bulb wattage measurements of the inhabitants of my home

several things have happened that have led to la neige's (D) fall from 3rd to 5th since our last reading. for starters, the political atmosphere at 1572 has shifted even further to the conservative right in this election year. therefore, a place that was already politically uncomfortable for la neige (D) has become almost unbearable ever since "that richard guy" has taken north korean like control over all information dissemination on campus 1572. so, how does la neige (D) feel about all this?... news flash - she still doesn't care. apparently having a lifetimes worth of totally subsidized jobs has removed any and all motivation from her 11 lbs frame. the richardvining.com staff has long given up hope of her ever contributing to the cause and has instead decided to dumb down their expectations to self sufficiency. however, even at that we have our doubts. it's good thing she's soft and cuddly.

as of the middle of june, ava was no longer exclusively a quadruped. her new found mobility technique is not only seen as a motor development skill, but as an essential link to all other forms of intelligence here on campus. from this point fwd she will be able to do things and go places that those who walk on four feet cannot, and therefore have access to areas of learning that are essentially off limits to quadrupeds. now as you might imagine, this development has really upset la neige (D) based on the premise that it pre-disposes her and all other quadrupeds to a lifetime of limited learning experiences. she was going to take her case to both the ADA and the rainbow coalition, but with her busy schedule and all... i'm sure she just forgot.

now while the selection of geddy above ava is expected to be controversial to some, it is the opinion of the richardvining.com staff that the ability to communicate in 2 languages and run on 4 legs beats the ability to take 14 steps on 2 legs while speaking no languages at all. that being said, geddy should be quite nervous as most of us anticipate ava's vocabulary to grow beyond the word "CAT" very soon.

in the year 2000 i received my first palm organizer device. since that time, i have slowly relinquished virtually all of my left brain to it. things like appointments, birthdays, phone numbers and laundry pickup no longer have to be remembered... "i've got it in my palm". however, an unforeseen side effect seems to be developing. i call it "left brain shrinkage" and it has pretty much taken away my ability to pay attention and retain information without jumbling it up with some other bit information that is orbiting around in the newly created void caused by the shrinkage. therefore, whenever i do try and remember something it comes out so convoluted that i have to cross-reference it with my palm just to check its validity. while socially i'm still able to get by day to day, it's when i lose my palm device that the real trouble kicks in. you see, if your palm is missing... how can you check it to see where you've left it?

at the poker table of brains, kristen is once again the chip leader. if anything, she has increased her lead with all those new "mom" skills she has picked up in the past year. you know, things like the ability to hear a baby cry from 2 kilometers away and anticipate a fever 3 days in advance. it is the addition of this "weird science" skill set that has earned her the #1 position and a seat next to the once brilliant nikola tesla.

to be fair, i really feel that this particular intelligence tracker chart is a bit misleading with its scale. you see, the gap between 1st and 5th is really growing and is basically creating an "intelligence middle class" here at our home. you have what the democrats like to call "the haves" (aka, the people who DO STUFF) and the "have not's" (aka, the people who need you to DO STUFF FOR THEM). the good news is this, assuming that ava will continue to develop and become more and more self sufficient, "the haves" will then have a 3 to 2 majority in the house. as majority leader, i can assure you that i will not force ava, kristen and myself to go back to crawling on all fours until EVERYONE has learned how to walk on two feet so that the cat and dog wont feel inferior. we will instead allow everyone to continue to develop their intelligence at whatever pace they are self motivated to achieve.

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