Handturkey 2006

break out the crayons

UPDATE : 11.26.06 : We have a winner!

After over 3,700 page views (a 100%+ increase over last year) we have a winner... but before I announce it, I'd like to explain how we came to a result. As previously stated in the intentionally vague and somewhat flexible 'contest rules', four different categories were used to determine a final score. Those categories are votes cast, average rating of those votes, comments left and page views. Since we had ten entries this year, I ranked each turkey based on its place in each category and gave it a score ranging from 1 to 10. Therefore, the highest possible score is 40. (please tell me you've caught on by now) Finally, a fifth score is figured in based on each turkey's 'style' which was determined solely by me. Below is a chart that breaks down the scores.

place user votes rating comments views style TOTAL 1 kgarrett 5 10 8 8 9 40 2 aj 9 1 10 9 8 37 3 robthompson 10 6 9 10 2 37 4 kristen 6 10 7 3 10 36 5 ava entry#2 7 10 6 7 4 34 6 ava entry#1 8 10 3 6 3 30 7 mom 4 5 2 5 6 22 8 loh1974 3 3 5 4 7 23 9 ron cleminson 2 2 1 2 5 12 10 rvining 1 4 4 1 1 11

So congratulations kgarrett , you are the 2006 RV.com Handturkey Champion and will be receiving the 50 RVPR points and shirt with your turkey on it. In addition, aj and robthompson will each receive 30 RVPR points for tying 2nd. Everyone who entered received 10 points just for turning in a sheet... so nobody really walked away as a total loser.

Commentary/Review: And while i fully expect a comment storm (use vehicle below to vent) from all this, i think you have to admit that when you step back, the results are about where they should be. All of the runner-up's had some fatal flaw that ended up cooking their turkey entry in the end. For example, aj had that bizarre pre-game smack off in which A) she listed the incorrect UNC opponent and B) UNC ended up losing the game. robthompson's entry was probably the best overall and would have won on its own, but the fact that he had somebody stuff his vote box with close to 3,000 clicks really hurt his style. Ava's two entries most likely hurt her overall chances as I think most of her supporters either chose one or the other and thus split her total potential vote. As always, my mom submitted a creative turkey into the contest that would have done better IF i hadn't already totaled up all the points before Thanksgiving dinner. Why? Well she wore her winning 2003 t-shirt. That would have definitely helped out her style. loh's turkey was not as good as in year's past, but i'm pretty sure that is due to her being convinced that this whole thing is rigged. Either way, her style points were amongst the highest thanks to her enthusiasm for the overall contest.

The only entry that really didn't have a fatal flaw was kristen's last second entry that really went outside the coup. I'm really pretty surprised that she didn't finish higher than she did given the low-road sort of humor most of us in here seem to share. Who knows... I guess that's why you have a contest.

And then there are the bottom two. There is a really big drop after 8th in order to reach the levels achieved by my father-in-law and myself. Not really sure what happened here, but I'm glad he beat me as he is in charge of Christmas this year.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The 2006 Contest

It's time for the RichardVining.com Handturkey Contest, and once again i will be collecting registered user handturkey drawings and posting them the week before Thanksgiving for everyone to vote on. The winner will receive a t-shirt with a picture of their submission on it as well as gloating rights for the following year.

Contest Rules

all handturkey submissions must use the entry form (right click/save as for PDF / GIF entry form) submissions can be faxed, e-mailed or snail mailed deadline for submissions is Thursday, November 16th all submissions must include your username and password for verification (it's sad that i have to do   this simply because some of you just can't behave) 10 RVPR points will be awarded to all successful submissions 15 additional RVPR points for 3rd place, 30 for 2nd, 50 for 1st anybody who hacks in and gives themselves 40,000 votes will have their registration revoked winners of the contest to be determined by a mathematical combination of the following   -number of page views   -average vote given   -number of comments left and/or caused   -style... to be determined solely by me

The 2006 Entries

click here for this year's flock

Why a handturkey contest?

I am left handed, which means all my "hand turkeys" are of the right-handed variety. This caused me much trauma back in the 2nd grade when everyone in the class drew their turkeys, cut them out, then posted them up on the board. Being the only lefty in Mrs. Tanner's class, my turkey faced the other way. So i had this huge decision to make, either put my "hand turkey" on the far right hand side of the board where all the other turkeys could stare at him; or put him on the far left hand side of the board and appear to the the loner turkey who is facing the wrong way. It was so unfair! But now, with the help of thousands of dollars worth of computer graphics equipment, i can finally have a turkey that faces the RIGHT way; and that is why you are 'required' to use MY hand as a submission form. Take that Mrs. Tanner!

2005 Review : entrants : results

2003 Winners : click to enlarge

hankword - 11/10/2006 1:21:08 PM boring. need new angle

rvining - 11/10/2006 2:11:08 PM fine, suggest something. sounds to me like you bitter about not winning in years past and dont have any ideas for this year.

rvining - 11/22/2006 9:16:41 AM POLLS CLOSE this thursday at midnight, so you have all thanksgiving day to VOTE and COMMENT on grandma's dialup line.

rvining - 11/23/2006 12:32:00 PM tick tick tick... now that the 3 hour ad that is the macy's parade is over it is a mad dash to the finish line. aj with most comments, rob with most views, kgarrett and kristen with highest vote average. use the 'sort' feature on the thumbnail page for more.

rvining - 11/24/2006 10:46:28 AM the polls are CLOSED and i've noted all the data. i'll send out a registered mail msg once its all totaled up.

rvining - 11/24/2006 10:18:32 PM yes, i was 'on duty' most of today as kc did some shopping. therefore, the totals were not updated and the winner not announced. if i had gone to 'work' today, we would have a winner. as it stands now, the data has been frozen and i'll post a winner when i get to it.

loh1974 - 11/25/2006 1:10:23 PM Do the entrants get one final word for why they should win?

rvining - 11/25/2006 1:37:53 PM i've already tabulated, but it couldn't hurt. and 'reasons for not winning' are always more interesting to read.

loh1974 - 11/25/2006 7:28:42 PM anyone related to you should not win b/c that would be scandalous... Kgarett should not win b/c his submission was late.. and so well, who is left... rob and myself.. Rob should not win b/c uh, well hes Rob... so that leaves me... the winner 2 years in a row...totally fair and legit

loh1974 - 11/25/2006 9:41:19 PM I am so preoud to be the 2006 Hand turkey contest winner... Thank you to everyone who voted for my hand turkey... It truly is an honor... I will wear my shirt proudly!!! Yall had to know I would win...

rvining - 11/26/2006 9:56:54 PM WINNERs posted, with explanations, so let the debate begin.

loh1974 - 11/26/2006 10:22:26 PM you only picked him b/c you could save $ ont he t-shirt colors selection. His hand turkey only consisted of black and white colors... pffffttt.....My turkey on the other hand (no pun) would have required many colors...... I see now how it all worked out...

aj - 11/26/2006 10:50:29 PM my rating was the only low thing...next year boys, you need to play more fair! i already know what i'm going to submit for the 2007 contest

aj - 11/26/2006 10:51:56 PM and loh, richard's assumption about you could possibly be right - this whole thing is rigged and full of folks with dirty alliances. two can play this game. are you on board for next year on my team?

wmartin - 11/26/2006 11:55:38 PM From a neutral and non submitting standpoint, I feel vindication and confirmation on why I dont submit. This is more about who ones picks fist at kickball than a contest of turkey hands. I will continue my protest and remain on the sidelines.

rvining - 11/27/2006 9:39:43 AM the point system is an uncaring, non-biased, cold and calculating way to measure handturkeys. as far as i can tell, there is no better way to measure handturkeys currently in existence. therefore, the only beef any of yoos peoples could have would be with the style rating... but the people complaining here all received high style marks - ironic isn't it.

robthompson - 11/27/2006 10:17:35 AM This web site, and it's management, are a joke. the fact that he had somebody stuff his vote box...really hurt his style.' Are you kidding me? I did no such thing, and I am incensed that you would suggest such a thing. That is sooooo two years ago. I second wmartin's comment. Sidelines, here I come. How can you in good conscious say 'robthompson's entry was probably the best overall and would have won on its own' and then not let it win on its own? Two style points? Give me a break. You have no evidence, not to mention my testimony to the contrary, that I conspired to do anything worthy of '2' style rating. Even three style points would have cause me to beat your, ahem, little sister. I mean, if you're going to slap my wrist for allegedly wrigging votes, how about slapping Jan's for leaving so many dang comments on HER OWN turkey! RT: most votes, most views, and most comments (if you remove all of Jan's self-votes). The public has spoken, and once again, RV.com has refused to listen. Shame on you. And P.S., Kevin, I think your turkey is awesome.

wmartin - 11/27/2006 11:20:18 AM I have to agree with RT on this one. Jan has almost 1000 views with an 8 style point. RT's veiws were high but his Turkey was the best. Furthermore, Jan by her own admission crushed his vote average even though it still shows a 10 vote average and RV took 4 points off and only awarded him a 6. This is worse than 'hanging chads'.

wmartin - 11/27/2006 11:24:31 AM Prior to the 'Style' category this is how everyone stacked up: Rob 35, Kevin 31, aVa #2 30, AJ 29, aVa #1 27, KC 26, Mom 16, LOH 16, RV 10, and R Clem 7. The top 5 are seperated by less then 10 points so the arbitrary RV manipulated and awarded 'Style' category is bunk b/c it is up to him to pick the winner. This year is a perfect example. I call for an RV.com traffic boycott.

wmartin - 11/27/2006 11:26:27 AM At the very least, RT's views are basically twice AJ but style points are a quarter AJ and this this even with the best turkey. Shouldnt RT Style points be at least 4 on this logic?

rvining - 11/27/2006 11:28:39 AM so your complaint isn't with not winning, but with not beating aj? is that right? aj, much like loh, got style for being lively during the course of the contest. you just submitted, logged-off and waited for the results. if i were you, i'd point my frustration at 67.101.154.228. whomever that is somehow put in over 2,500 ten votes. its like kevin kane stuffing the memphis flyer BOM ballot box. poor form.

rvining - 11/27/2006 11:33:40 AM hmmm, wmartin does have a point with aj having over 1000 votes herself, but at least she owns up to it. there is just no way some random person from nowhere that rob knows nothing about voted 2500 times. HOW WOULD YOU STACK THE STYLE POINTS???

wmartin - 11/27/2006 11:33:59 AM RV just admitted to manipulating the outcome due to his bias. Everyone look.

rvining - 11/27/2006 11:42:20 AM huh? before totaling the outcome i ranked the turkeys based on style. at the time i was pretty bent on the 2500+ votes from somebody we didn't know. heck, hank wrote a program one year that did this and got DQ'd over it. this is like the BCS... everybody complains that their team should be up higher. well to do that you have to bump somebody down. HOW WOULD YOU STACK THE STYLE POINTS???

wmartin - 11/27/2006 11:42:35 AM Also point of clarification b/c RV is WRONG. RT has 2100 or so views and 560 or so votes not the 'over 2500' as RV claims.

robthompson - 11/27/2006 11:44:54 AM First you say I voted for myself too many times, thus earning poor style points. Then you said that I didn't log on and comment enough, thus earning poor style points. Make up for your mind! Better yet, just admit that you rig this event, just like everything else on RICHARDSDOMINION.com. And I quote RV.com himself, 'I don't mind playing by the rules, even if they're stacked against me, as long as you tell me what the rules are on the front end.' It must be really difficult to live a world bound by that kind of inconsistency and blatant hypocrisy.

wmartin - 11/27/2006 11:46:14 AM Give the person with the most 'Style' the most points. It is not the category called 'Fudge' Points or 'Residual' points or 'RV Favortism' points. Perhaps next year you should add one of those categories.

loh1974 - 11/27/2006 11:47:29 AM Jan,Girl Power!

rvining - 11/27/2006 11:48:05 AM attention all people who dont read - HOW WOULD YOU STACK THE STYLE POINTS???

robthompson - 11/27/2006 11:55:11 AM Let meritocracy reign. Drop the style points. Don't you think that the voters who chose which turkeys to vote for, and which turkeys to view, were making those decisions based partially, if not almost entirely, on style? Adding style points to this competition is like adding a style point category to a dunk contest. The whole point of the dunk -- or hand turkey -- competion is style. Either drop the category, and let the people chose (as they obviously have) or change the category name to what it is. As far as potential category names go, I personally favor 'Dictator squashing the voice of the proletariat for his own ends' or 'F the small guy, cause W's still president and V still rules the web' or simply 'Bonus Bogus Points'.

wmartin - 11/27/2006 12:01:09 PM I think it should be called the 'I'll set the rules then change them to defend my decison' points. Examples, You didn't comment enough, you recieved too many votes, Jan's my sister so she gets 8 while you get a quarter of that so I can penalize you even though you had twice the vote. Or how about the 'It is not linear' points.

rvining - 11/27/2006 12:03:05 PM ok ok ok - UNCLE. yall have made some good points and i clearly i didnt put the time or thought into the style ranking process that i should have. assuming rob will actually wear (or frame) any shirt i pass out (he never wore the excellent staff shirts from 2 years ago and those were 18 bucks each) i will be willing to have a rv.com handturkey contest campion AND a peoples champion shirt. does that help? or does that simply shut yoos people up for just long enough to get the shirt before you get back to complaining. oh, and one more thing... HOW WOULD YOU STACK THE STYLE POINTS???

wmartin - 11/27/2006 12:06:44 PM Personally, I would 'STACK' the style points by giving the hand turkey with the most style the most points. 'robthompson's entry was probably the best overall ' so saith RV.....

robthompson - 11/27/2006 12:08:30 PM Uh, I have worn the shirt, to 747 in fact, even though the sleeves are so short I look like I'm trying to start a men's 'capri shirt' trend. Nevertheless, this is a weak, but acceptable solution, just so that you can save face, and because you admit to how awful your system is. And I thought I explained how I would treat the style points -- by throwing them out. I mean, is this web site FOR its users or not?

rvining - 11/27/2006 12:15:07 PM the person who voted for you a bazillion times is NOT a USER. so shall i throw those votes out and then rank all the turkeys? or would your rather just say 'thank you' and give me your shirt size? as for the system, like everything else, it could use a tweek here and there. perhaps we could have a 'staff choice' next year along with my 'sytle'. that will get the girls all worked up about this being a boys club, but perhaps we can work something out that way. the staff needs a little shake up anyway. chewy is definately a boot.

wmartin - 11/27/2006 12:22:51 PM The girls need to just let the men lead anyway.

loh1974 - 11/27/2006 12:23:27 PM What about a best man turkey and a best female turkey? Forget all that 1st 2nd 3rd champion crap.... and yes if anyone other than a registerd user voted, all bets are off!

wmartin - 11/27/2006 12:23:32 PM Besides, Borat cites Kazakistan scientist who proves thier brains are smaller.

wmartin - 11/27/2006 12:43:01 PM LOH, why dont we make this an esteem building exercise and everyone gets a t shirt just like pee wee baseball and just like life?

loh1974 - 11/27/2006 1:04:32 PM oh fer sure.. kind of like everyone wins & everyone is happy... so NOT like life.. unless, hmmm whats it called?? SD??

loh1974 - 11/27/2006 2:11:44 PM so sort of like an official SD type deal.. only in reality if admitted everyone knows there is a best and worst but in order to make everyone happy happy and avoid truth we will just 'make it all OK' by giving a t-shirt to everyone... could work for some....just put on a smile a be a winner in your own eyes...

loh1974 - 11/27/2006 2:12:46 PM That was wuch a WLM comment made to make the women go GRRRRRR~~~

aj - 11/27/2006 2:44:41 PM thanks rv for being the only rational one here...so your complaint isn't with not winning, but with not beating aj? is that right? aj, much like loh, got style for being lively during the course of the contest.

aj - 11/27/2006 2:48:19 PM so lets get back to the basics of style...what's wrong with the style of my handturkey anyway? please comment...

loh1974 - 11/27/2006 2:53:44 PM I gots style :)

loh1974 - 11/27/2006 3:19:05 PM for the love of the turkey, will I ever be back in the top 5 again? AJ, your turkey was creative HOWEVER, very RANDOM!~!

rvining - 11/27/2006 4:00:39 PM there is no way aj would have made a turkey like that 2 years ago. clearly SOMEBODY needs their own user account over there. and i'm still waiting for my 1-10 HOW WOULD YOU STACK THE STYLE POINTS list from you people. easy to complain, but hard to rank. i want to see where you would have put things.

loh1974 - 11/27/2006 5:47:44 PM color..is it 3-D...who is the entrant married to? Does the entrant have the last name Vining? how many years consecutively has entrant participated? originality? Does the entrant have a day job? textures used? how 'thanksgiving' is the turkey (theme)? and FINALLY, when was the turkey entered? In the end, Im good enough, Im smart enough and gosh darnit, people like me.

aj - 11/27/2006 10:00:07 PM well i've entered a 3-d one before, my last name isn't Vining, i've entered every year, the tar heels turned tar hands concept is way cool and incredibly clever, i definately work 45-50 hour weeks, i had different textures and used a marker/crayon/color pencil combo, ball games/sports SCREAMS thanksgiving, and I personally delivered my hand turkey to 1572 two and half hours before the deadline.

loh1974 - 11/27/2006 10:15:20 PM er, I think Im locking my door tonight... MEOW...anyone else have questions that RV can use next year.. Better yet, I think WLM should be the judge or perhaps Phonda??.. we need a non participant to be the judge.. any thoughts?

aj - 11/28/2006 9:12:56 AM lets use mom

rvining - 11/28/2006 9:29:14 AM i think i'm leaning towards using a blend of the statistical catagories and my 'opinion'. i also need to find a way to let ONLY registered users vote. this will cause a storm from registered users who have their browsers set to not allow cookies, but a line has to be drawn somewhere. perhaps you would only be allowed one vote/rank per day.

kgarrett - 11/29/2006 11:45:18 AM Wow, I had a big 'I would like to thank the academy' speech prepared, but Ive been scared to show my face around these parts lately. Seriously though, thanks to those who liked my turkey (and RV, the checks in the mail)

rvining - 11/29/2006 12:22:29 PM gee thanks for stopping by AFTER the fire. could have really used some 'argument help' the other day. it ended up costing me consolatory shirt. speaking of which, i need you guys to send me your sizes. long sleve or short?

loh1974 - 11/29/2006 12:51:38 PM um am I in that group of peeps getting a t? I prefer a large.. I wont be picky abotu long/short sleeve :)

aj - 11/29/2006 4:10:02 PM depends on the company - sometimes a small and sometimes a medium...i'm with loh - long or short sleeve is fine with me! Ha!

aj - 11/30/2006 8:07:04 AM people's choice? rob's entry is not a people's choice! it's a non registered users' choice, specifically 2,000 votes from just one person who should not be allowed to vote

aj - 11/30/2006 12:02:57 PM so why would he get a tshirt?

wmartin - 11/30/2006 5:13:24 PM Why so much RT hate?

wmartin - 11/30/2006 5:17:54 PM AJ am I to understand that all 994 of your views were from registered RV.com users? (As well as, no redundant IP addresses) Also, it appears to me RT only has 563 votes not the ficticious 2000 figure so loosely thrown around.

loh1974 - 11/30/2006 6:33:55 PM The real winner here is LOH.. i am the one who has few votes but they are all legit....Im waiting on my T

aj - 11/30/2006 9:38:35 PM views, not votes

kgarrett - 12/1/2006 3:40:47 PM Hey wait a minute. All of my views were legit except for the 25 that rv spottted me because he got my turkey loaded late. Everyone else had at least 25 by that point. Look at the scores- I had the most well rounded turkey nothing lower than 5. I accept everyones concerns about the style section but the last time I logged on I had to go to richardvining.com, so its his website and his vote (flawed rationale or not) should carry more weight. So, ............................................................... enough of this insolence! salute the true winner!!! I'll take a xtra-large short sleeve shirt.

kgarrett - 12/1/2006 3:43:45 PM Sorry for the smack-talk. Richard was right that I needed to come to the defense of his brilliant contest sooner. So I decided to try to make up for my tardiness with harshness. That and I've had about 15 total hours of sleep in the last 4 days

aj - 11/14/2007 9:38:21 PM where is the brilliant contest this year? anyone interested out there?

aj - 11/14/2007 9:39:45 PM AND...I'm still waiting for the fair scoring system that doesn't penalize me for being such a loyal rv.com user.

Gina - 11/15/2007 8:00:19 PM Yes! I have been wondering... Where is the 2007 contest? =)

Home > Features > Win Lose Draw > Handturkey