Things I've Learned |
Lessons from the first 35 |
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10 |
No useful mail ever comes from Wilmington, Delaware. | |
| No useful mail have ever originated out of Wilmington, Delaware. The only mail that comes out of that place is sent by the Capital One's of the world. | ||
9 |
Regular mustard is basically free. | |
| While the product is dirt cheap, people are apparently willing to pay for the dispenser. As a result, a recent audit I performed at Schnucks turned up eight different dispenser styles. | ||
8 |
Just a splash of root-beer will make your whole Diet Coke taste like root-beer. | |
| Whatever it is that makes root-beer taste like root-beer has the ability to permeate an entire Diet Coke with just one splash. | ||
7 |
Stale Food | |
| Some foods just taste better stale. fig newtons, bread pretzels, marshmallows | ||
6 |
Ringtones | |
| Trust me, nobody else wants to hear your "special ringtone". | ||
5 |
Closets and Garages | |
| No house, regardless of size, has enough closet or garage space. | ||
4 |
Mr. and Mrs. Richard B. Vining | |
| When a letter is addressed like this, it is never intended for me. | ||
3 |
Funny | |
Right when something is "no longer funny" is when it begins to get really really funny. |
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2 |
Black Tie | |
| Don't try to fake it with a dark suit and white shirt. When an event is labeled as "black tie", they mean WEAR A BLACK TIE! Either go rent or buy one. | ||
#1 |
Yelling at the TV | |
| Until scientifically proven otherwise, yelling at the tv during a critical shot, pass or kick CAN have an effect on the outcome. | ||
HM |
Car Alarms : Nobody pays any attention to or is deterred by your car alarm. | |
| Batteries : Just go ahead and buy the bigger pack. You'll use them eventually. | ||
| Beef Jerky : Never eat it before noon. | ||
| Subway : When you can't decide what to eat, just goto Subway. |
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